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Guilt1

Did I do enough? Did I do the right things? Was I disappointing? Did all the frustration and short words of your final time at home outweigh how much I loved you and the care I did give? I could have taken better care. I could have not gotten overstressed, overtired, overly angry, overly sad, overworked, overanxious, overly scared, overly agitated, couldn't I have? Could I have? You gave of your whole heart when I needed you and I gave sass when nothing was controllable. Did you hear my apology? Did you feel my shame? Did you understand that none of that was about you. Not really. It was my sense of "not fair". It was my fear. It was my denial. It was my "this isn't how this was supposed to be". It was my breaking heart. Why didn't I hold your hand as you died? I can say that it's because I didn't want to disturb you. I can say it's because you were already going through enough and I didn't want to be the cause of more. I can say it's...
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Facebook memories are a bitch sometimes

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7 years ago today Shoulda, woulda, coulda right????
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The First Time I Forgot

Yesterday President Biden pulled out of the Presidential race and for a split second, I thought I would have to tell you when I saw you. You would have had an opinion but only if it were a couple years ago. At the end you would have raised your eyebrows and listened to me go on and on about how unprecedented this is and how it took real balls and real selflessness for President Biden.  Maybe you still would have had an opinion but Parkinson's disease stole your voice and lots of the processing places of your brain. I hate it. I hate this. I hate hurting. I hate how many more times I will momentarily forget.  I hate the most that you're just gone.
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The Eulogy

 My Mom was a compassionate and vibrant woman who always went out of her way to make people feel special. She was classy and proud and had a real passion for life. She had a way about her which endeared her to most everyone she came in contact with, and it is a great testament to her nature that she formed so many long lasting friendships over the years. So many of you here today and so many have gone before her. I just know there was a grand gala awaiting her spirit! Mom cared deeply for the environment, especially our bird friends. In fact, a few months ago when I was cleaning out her desk, I found her lifetime bird list. I was blown away to discover that it takes up an entire legal pad. When I traveled, I would send pictures of the birds we would see from around the country, or have a bunch on the camera to show her when we got home, and she almost always knew what kind of bird was pictured. It wasn’t just birds though. She loved her puppies too! She had such a soft heart for ou...
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The Obit

 Janet Garvin made her final transition surrounded by family 1 ½ days short of her 79th birthday on July 7, 2024, after a hard fought battle with Parkinson’s Disease. Though she spent the majority of her life in Joplin, a brief number of blissful years in Carlsbad and Albuquerque birthed a deep love affair with New Mexico as well. Janet spent her final 17 months in the loving care of the staff at Joplin Gardens and Compassus. Characteristic of Janet, it wasn’t much time before she developed a group of lady friends with whom she lunched in the cafeteria daily until she was no longer able to physically do so. Stylish to the very end, it was no surprise to see a new color of polish on her nails at each visit.   Janet was born July 9, 1945 to Virginia (Ginny) and James (Jim) Diles in Joplin. After graduating from Joplin High School, a proud member of the Class of 63, Janet studied at Joplin Junior College. While still in high school, Janet met the love of her life, Phil Garvin...
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